Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been about 6 months since my last blog, but what did you expect? The title of this blog *is* Lauren’s Lazy Life aaaand writing is hard for a chick with ADD. Okay? In all seriousness though, the summer was pretty busy in all its summer-y glory…and stressful…and hectic…and whatever other synonym you want to give it. Then came fall with all the kids sports and college football starting back up and Halloween and so on and so forth. Well, a decline in C-vid meant more activities and my bands were starting to book gigs again! Hooray!
Well, more gigs means more wrinkles for me. Yessss…You read correctly. In case you didn’t know, I’m an…expressive singer. And by expressive, I mean I look like I’m in pain 95% of the time. So much so that I might be able to pass as Worf from Star Trek. Yeah. It’s that bad, y’all… My hulk-like forehead muscles coupled with years and years of abuse (over-tanning and burning my pasty, 23andMe-confirmed 100% European self) and neglect of my dryyyy skin growing up (never regularly wore moisturizer or SPF until I was 29) left me with wrinkles that were already showing at the age of 22… I’m *clears throat*35*ah hem* older now and those wrinkles are just worse. Now just think perpetual Quark from Star Trek. (What’s with the Star Trek references? Oh well… Just go with it.) I mean, as much as I love Sphinx cats, I don’t want to look like one… Another thing to mention is that the constant tension on my forehead from singing caused me to have frequent (almost daily) headaches. This led me to begin getting occasional Botox when I was 25. It was awesome! No forehead movement when singing and no residual tension headaches with the added bonus of wrinkle smoothing. Well, Botox is great and all, but there are two problems I have with it now. #1: It’s pricey/doesn’t last long enough. #2: It can actually CAUSE headaches instead of alleviate them.
Let’s cover problem #1 first. Here in the Houston area, regular Botox tends to run about $13-$14/unit. If you’re like me and getting around 30 units (yes, that’s just for my forehead alone), that can cost more than $400 every 3 to 4 months depending on how quickly your body metabolizes it. Oof. If I can find a Botox party from a reputable injector, it can get as low as $10/unit, but that’s still $300. When it wears off and you aren’t on top of getting it on a regular schedule, the wrinkles just come right back. It seems like the longer you’ve been getting Botox, the faster your body metabolizes it or the more you have to get at one time.
So now the other problem… The last time I got Botox, I had a terrible reaction to it. I had bad headaches for 2 months straight and it didn’t paralyze my muscles adequately, so I basically wasted my money and put myself through agony. It very well could have been an error on the person injecting it, but it also could have been my body saying ‘no more please.’ Either way, it was enough to scare me off for a while.
So now what am I gonna do? Yes, there are other injectable options like Dysport and Xeomin, but they cost just as much, if not even more than Botox does. When you have an almost 4-year-old who wants to be in almost every activity and extracurricular under the sun, well, bank account = *crickets*. So the search began. I found a serum that I really liked by SeneGence, but we all know serums can only do so much. There was still the mechanical component that causes the wrinkles.
Enter Frownies. I started seeing ads for Frownies on Instagram and TikTok. Like… A LOT of ads for Frownies. So, after watching countless videos of Helen (the great, great granddaughter of the creator of Frownies), I gave in to the influence of ‘The Gram’ and bought a set of the Forehead Wrinkle Patches, the Rose Water Hydrator, and a Trial Set of all the facial patches. Everything just made sense. Here’s some history from the Frownies website: ‘Frownies are the Original Facial Patch for wrinkles and frown lines. Created by a woman for women, before injections and surgery took away our natural beauty, Frownies Facial Patches have been promoting a simple and effective way to ward off deep expression lines. Since 1889 the simple facial patch created by the Frownies family has helped women look and feel their best.’ Yes, you read that right. They’ve been around since 1889. Also, ‘There are no active ingredients. The results are due to a muscular response to the Facial Patches. Working like a splint on the skin, the patch holds the muscle in place, retraining the muscles to lie in a smooth flat position again.’ This right here made a light bulb go off in my head. Of course! If you wear a cast on something/keep it still long enough, there will be muscle atrophy. What better way to naturally calm my forehead muscles than with this?? And y’all…the patches are COMPOSTABLE. Come on…
Well, I tried them. And I saw results after only ONE night. After 17 days? Noticeable results. After 30 days? Wow. After 60 days? See for yourself! If these pictures don’t convince you, I don’t know what will.
Oh, you need numbers? Well, remember how I said Botox was at least $300 every 3 months? Okay, there’s that. A box of Frownies Forehead Wrinkle Patches are $23.95 for 144 patches. I use 9 patches to cover my whole forehead. So that would mean I use a little less than 2 boxes a month. That equals to about $47.90 for one month and $143.70 for 3 months. After continual use, I will have lasting results, and I’ll be able to use fewer patches and only use them a few times a week – which means even less money spent. See where I’m going with this? Like I said: It just makes sense.
And yet, the deal gets even sweeter for you AND me. I have been lucky enough to become a Brand Ambassador for Frownies. So you can use the code LALA and get 10% off your order.
What do you think?