While this blog is about “being lazy”, I know when I need to kick myself in the butt and say enough is enough. It was time to start kicking that baby weight that I never lost in the ass. In late 2019 and early 2020, I started working on my fitness. I’ve never been a fan of working out. Like…ever. I was consistently going to our country club and doing group classes and was starting to really enjoy them! I was also making great progress. Then came March 2020. Everything stopped. Like many people during the course of this pandemic, I gained the “covid 19” if you follow my drift… Stress eating, stress drinking, high levels of cortisol, more stress drinking… Yeah. You get it. So with the added stress, I hurt everywhere. Why? Here’s a little back story…
In 2004, I almost met my maker. I got a terrible case of mono, and then on top of that, I got a secondary infection of grade IV tonsillitis. If you’re unfamiliar with what mononucleosis does to you, well, it makes your immune system a worthless pile of dog poop. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t even swallow my own spit. My tonsils were so swollen, they were touching each other. I was living on lidocaine, codeine cough syrup, pickle juice, and yogurt. I lost 15 lbs on my already wafer-thin 108 lb body. I honestly don’t remember how long this went on…I wasn’t conscious much. After a number of weeks of that nonsense, my mom drove to College Station to take care of me. She said that my room smelled like death. I was sent to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Bryan by my GP. I spent 3 days there being pumped with intravenous steroids to get my tonsils to calm down. I’m pretty sure a priest came to see me at some point. My tonsils finally deflated, but the rest of my body blew up like a balloon. I was released and within one week, all hell broke loose. I had woken up at 6am to go to the bathroom, and collapsed on my floor unable to walk. I dragged myself to my roommate’s door and she picked up my useless body and took me to the ER. When I say that was the LONGEST 10 minutes I’ve ever spent in a car, I mean it. I was experiencing “mono-induced viral arthritis.” Yeah…what? Apparently, it’s a thing. I spent the following weeks and months managing my new normal. Years go by and the inflammation and pain are still there. After years of diagnostic tests and experimental treatments, my rheumatologist diagnosed me with “Undifferentiated Spondyloarthritis.” Yes. It’s obnoxious.
Because of the high doses of steroids I received in the hospital all those years ago, I developed bone infarctions. So what is it and how did I find this out? The condyles of my femurs are “dead”/scarred. See exhibit A. I went to the orthopedic surgeon because I was experiencing strange pain in my knees about 2 years after having mono that wasn’t similar to my typical arthritis pain. When we were all looking at my MRIs, he turned and looked at me very confused. He said, “Have you been extremely ill recently?” That’s when I told him about the hospitalization. I was told to use crutches for a month and put as little pressure as possible on my knees. After 5 years, and another MRI, it was determined that they weren’t growing (or shrinking) and they’d be there for the rest of my life. The only ones I know about for sure are in both of my knees, but the doctor presumed they are elsewhere. I would have to have MRIs done on all my joints or have a full body bone scan to know for sure. Definitely don’t have the money for that.
“If a cookie falls on the floor and you bend down to pick it up — that’s a squat, right?”
So here we are today. I’m managing my pain. Some days are worse than others. I have to be careful with my workouts and stick to low-impact exercise. I discovered Les Mills On Demand a few years ago and have really enjoyed it. (I love listening to all of the Aussie accents too.) I started with their high-energy body-weight programs like SH’BAM, BODYCOMBAT, BODY ATTACK, and BODYSTEP because I had no equipment except a step. Once I added some exercise bars and barbells, I started doing BODYPUMP. I finally added the final piece a month ago and got a Schwinn IC4 spin bike. Now I can do the SPRINT and RPM classes. They have something for almost anyone, so check it out if you’ve been looking for something like this.
Remember that any exercise is better than no exercise.
I’m only at the beginning of this journey and I’m trying to make better life choices when it comes to food and exercise. My ultimate goal is to lose 3-4 inches around my waist so I can go down 2-3 pant sizes. Keep me accountable, why don’t ya?
What do you think?